The Journal of a Feast Survivor
I stood against my foe, the thanksgiving dinner. We stood toe to toe sizing each other up, both thirsty for each other’s soft innerds hoping to feast on each other . The thanksgiving beast lunged towards me in hopes to catch me off guard and cause my footing to loosen. What a fatal flaw that was. I anticipated this from such an arrogant creature and with one forceful thrust I drove my fork through the stuffing filled heart of the advancing fiend. His body shook the heavens as it collided with the hard wood floor of the old farm house. And I, Grawskioski, stood over my fallen opponent and began to force his tasty corpse down my digestive track like a greedy coyote gorging on a dying ground squirrel.
So in a sense this is how my Thanksgiving went . Of course it may seem a bit over the top but that’s how I roll sucka . I prepared accordingly for this one and today I ate very well and drank lots of water which helped make sure no damage was done except for the assorted Mattel toys I crushed while drunkedly searching for a soft seating area after my meal . I should only gain about four el bees after this which is really saying something. I used to gain like ten pounders and would keep it on well into the new year. I also plan on working out tomorrow which will help prevent me from turning into a house.
Tomorrow evening is my other feasting dinner . I’m hoping to mirror the same amount of bodily authority at this one as well which means restricted eating all day until the time to feast is upon me. I will workout of course and drink plenty o’ water. Water is the key. It really is. Water can be the determining factor on wether you will drop weight or gain. Take my word.
My mom will moost likely fill her trusty McKlein bag with leftovers for me to take home but I got to be sure to keep it at meat and veggies. No sweets, bread, or starches like potatoes. Okay off to bed I guess.
